4:39am

been awhile since ive been here
i cant sleep at night knoq that someone would be there
sigh as much as i know wishes come and
you'll always be there for that i know
realizing that my pain sources from another
"hey dad fuck you!" ahaha
you know i love you
as 2010 moves along the way
my mind drifts off into another place
Mira Mesa is where i am now
Come and find me!

P1

I never get tired of hearing your voice
as much as i do weed to sing
i'm scarred (HAHA)
but fuck it
you showed me a way to suck it up and spill
once the frieday hits
then ill be ready to talk and sit with you the next day
I love you lola, Rest in Peace.

Had another bad day, ofcourse i would blame it on the medication im taking 750mg of the anti-depressant, 500mg of the diet, 10mg of the blood pressure, and 7.5 of the sleeping a day. Once in the morning and another time in the evening. For the last three days i've been feeling like shit; during the day I barely have the energy to talk. Most of the time i'll just looking around and stay quiet. Idk, i can't even sleep right; i wake up in the middle of the night for no reason. It's fucking irritating! I'll end this post now, and just keep moving..

i've been put on more medication.. None of this is helping me at all, i get this feeling that people are treating me specially. Feeling like people have to break it down for you to jus understand something simple. Yeah, I have a fucking mood disorder so what? does that mean you have to treat me specially? Idk, i'm fucking lost.. Anti-Depressants, Diet Pills, High Blood Pressure Pills, and Sleeping Pills: all of this is not helping me at all. Everyday since i've been hospitalized, I'm always gloomy; looking lost. Most of the time, I wonder who the fuck am i? *Sigh* i'm tired of everything.. put me to rest already.. - NVPM